Amazing Things

They've put me on E shift and so I have some time to kill. Today I killed it by making goat yogurt. My goat yogurt is delicious and nutritious but the stores around here won't stock it, they always say "we're not buying new products at this time" or "can I see your health certification?"

If they don't want to buy local, that's their loss.

I make two varieties, plain and apple. It's just fine plain but the apple adds a cooling crunch for those long summer evenings. Today I just made plain.

I don't actually keep goats, but there are some running feral in the back woods; the elder female is my main source of goat yogurt as she has a bad knee and is pathetically easy to catch.

Nomatter. I am here to discuss amazing things. Well just one amazing thing really, my hands are tired after a long day's yogurting.

1. THE EARTH TURNS JUST SIXTY FEET PER DAY, I HAVE MEASURED IT, YOU CAN TOO

I was doing my best to relax with some fresh plain goat yogurt this afternoon but a square patch of sunlight was shining through the kitchen window and right into my eyes. I moved my chair back a little to get out of the way of the beam, but each time I did, it caught up with me to blind me again, at a steady and very irritating rate. Eventually my chair was too far from the table for the table to be of any practical use.

I realised that this was caused by the rotation of the Earth.

I realised something else: by measuring how far the beam moved along the wall every minute, I could measure the speed that the Earth turns! I waited until the ticker hand on the kitchen clock had reached 12 and then I took tiny amount of leftover yogurt and dabbed it on the wall, right on the edge of the sunlight. When it reached 12 again I made another mark, and another, and another. I continued with this until the sun went behind a cloud, about thirty marks later.

I went upstairs and found my old school ruler, then I measured the distance between the marks. It was an even half-inch every time! I knew I was on to something.

That means that the Earth turns at a half-inch per minute. And that is a fact, you can't tell me otherwise. So explain this to me, SCIENTISTS.

A half inch per minute, multiplied by sixty, that's sixty half-inches per hour, or FIVE HALF-FEET. Two and a half full feet.

Two and a half feet times twenty-four hours, that's sixty feet per day!

THE EARTH TURNS AT A RATE OF SIXTY FEET PER DAY. That's not even the distance between my desk and yonder fence. I googled it and NASA say the Earth is 131480184 feet all the way round. Divided by sixty that's 2191336.4 days for a full rotation.

HERE'S THE SPOOKY PART. 2191336.4 days is 5999 YEARS!

And how long has the Earth been around? According to at least three guys at work, the Earth has been around for 6000 years, give or take.

You can click your clicking arrow here for proof.

Now tell me, is that just COINCEDENCE? Or is that an Amazing Thing? And what happens when the Earth completes its first full rotation...is that the End of DAY(s)?

Why does science never answer my questions?