Amazing Things

I'll get straight to it.

1. MY COUSINS JAY AND DERMOT ARE NOT ACTUALLY IDENTICAL TWINS

It's crazy. They were born of the same woman (my Aunt) at the same time (sometime in the late 1970's) but they are NOT identical twins. I think everybody just assumed that they were. I mean, if you have two baby boys with the same hair colour, you have to assume they're identical, don't you? All babies look more or less the same. So they dressed the same all their lives, and when Dermot grew his beard, Jay did too. They would always go on about their strange and embarrassing 'psychic bond'--if one of them reached 'climax' (either alone or with a woman) the other would too, wherever he was, whatever he was doing. So I don't know what the hell that's about because they both signed up for some kind of medical testing downtown today and they were rejected because they weren't actually twins. They're still brothers, I THINK, but not twins.

So Jay has shaved his beard and started wearing different clothes. He announced that it was time for him to discover his own identity. Upon hearing this, Dermot pointed at himself and said, "hold on, I thought this was your identity." Jay was like, "no, it's yours. I've been copying you."

Turns out they've both been copying each other, like some sort of weird feedback loop of men's fashion. There you go. Such things can happen. Amazing Things.

I wonder if they'll stop dirtying each other now.